Hey guys. A while ago I explained the situation.
Im 24 and live with my mum (48) and nan (74).
My uncle had PD, he died last year :(.
My mum also has PD and she is starting to drive us insane.
She has trouble walking and cant walk without someone holding her, a frame or a stick (although she can fall over sometimes even with a stick)
She is getting to be more of a nuisance than my uncle was.
The problem with her is that she is very stubborn.
She claims she can still do things around the house but when given the chance she falls over.
My nan baths her, gets her out of bed, cooks her dinner, gets her drinks throughout the day, sees to her in the night (when my mum has breathing problems and panic attacks each night), cleans out fish, guinea pigs.
Anyway we just had a big row. My mum told this person she would have 2 more guinea pigs a week ago. I explained to her it isnt fair on my nan because my nan would have to clean them out, not her and my nan is an elderly lady afterall which isnt fair.
My mum said she would do it and she really started getting to me by saying “its my life, ill have what I want”. I explained we are only looking out for her and that if she tried doing it she would fall and hurt herself n it will be left to my nan to do who is under enough strain already.
Anyway things escalated and another problem happened. Now what I hate about this house which belongs to my nan is the sacrafices we have made for my mum. We had a higher up toilet seat installed for my mum, bath rails, decking and a ramp out front and back, a bath seat and more things. Im a young lad and it does ruin my life. Im obviously going to have girlfriends and friends up to see me. What do they think when they see all that stuff lying about?? A lot of people are totally not understanding and would run a mile from me.
Relating to that my auntie suggested ages ago about knocking down our passage wall and installing a walk in shower for my mum there. I personally could never live with that since I have my beer brewing quarters around there and its hardly nice having a shower right next to the front door where people can see you in the shower (its bad enough already having to use the toilet with the door wide open cause it wont shut due to the higher seat thats on the toilet). My nan said the other day we wouldnt be getting 1 there and it was only a suggestion but my mum was adamant today that the wall was being knocked down and I cant do a thing about it.
She said a load more horrid things to me like im not her son and im just a baby who doesnt help out (in fact I have been painting half the house and when they were on holiday last week I spent the whole week tidying and clearing up the house so it was nice for them to go back to). I went mad and said I cannot stand her and wish she would just go away.
I went out the room and came back to see my mum in tears…. because my nan would not side with her.
My mum tried putting a few more blows into things by saying I was horrid to my uncle. The reality of it though which I explained ages ago was that he was my best mate. I went to football games with him and loads of other places. The reason I was angry or annoyed at times was at the illness and not him. In fact it was her that was horrible to him. I remember when I was younger and he had PD so was slower at doing things. She used to have a go at him calling him useless and as a kid it bought me to tears most days.
Shes still sticking to her stubborn guns now saying shes given up on life now, that she didnt register my birth so I dont exist (I even showed her my birth certificate).
Her “lifestyle” support worker is coming up later to take her to gym and shes told my nan shes not going now.
I hate it. Shes my mum so I love her. I just hate the illness she has. I hate the way she is stubborn and I feel sorry for my poor nan who has been making herself ill by doing all she can for my mum.
When my mum gets an idea in her head she sticks to it and gets stubborn about it. She doesnt care who she hurts and doesnt think of the full reality of it.
Just 5 minutes ago she said she didnt ask for PD. She burst into tears and I said we all care about her and love her but she has to also think of the strains my nan has been going through with her but she said “well I hate you all”